


The Justice League

by Lady_of_Winterhell



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Episode: Red Alert, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, TM Discord Challenge, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 10:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30070608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_Winterhell/pseuds/Lady_of_Winterhell
Summary: On a random Saturday morning, Jane stumbles into Lisbon's movie collection...and family. Rating for language.Part of our Mentalist Discord Challenge: take a prompt and something from a random episode, make it into a story.Episode: Red Alert (3x13)Prompt: Fake Relationship
Relationships: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	The Justice League

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based around my favorite line: “Aren’t we all part of the Justice League? Do you think Aquaman would give Batman a ticket?” —Patrick Jane, Red Alert (3x13)

He tapped his chin as he looked around her nearly spotless living room. He was so impressed with how clean her house was considering how much time she spent in her office at the CBI. Keeping her house this clean was obviously a control thing. “So I see a pattern with your movies here.”

“What?” She called from her kitchen. Per their usual arrangement, since he had made brunch this morning, she was dealing with the dishes. When she made their food, he did the dishes. Fair was fair.

After his acquittal, she gave him a standing invite to come over on Saturdays under the pretense of continuing a top secret investigation into Red John. Though, that conversation usually didn’t take long. There was not much new information to consider because the bastard was taking advantage of folks thinking Jane had killed Red John when he killed Timothy Carter. He figured it out early on that this was more of her way of keeping track of him on one of their days off.

“So I see you have Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. That seems to be ground zero for a lot of female led movies.”

“Jane! Get out of my movies!”

“Then, we have a slew of other movies like Pretty Woman, Election, Cruel Intentions, and Pleasantville. But Legally Blonde? That seems a bit off for you...until I noticed Sweet Home Alabama.”

She appeared in her living room. “I told you to get out of my movies!” 

“I think someone is a fan of...what’s that actress’s name? The one from that vampire show?”

“Reese Witherspoon was not in Buffy the Vampire Slayer! That’s Sarah Michelle Gellar.”

He grinned. “Aha! So you are a fan of Reese then? I think your collection here says a thousand words. You like your chick flicks.”

She grimaced. “Don’t call them that! They’re just movies! And besides, if they’re chick flicks, how do you even know what they are?”

He shrugged. “I don’t. I just kept seeing the same woman appear on the covers. This many of her films...well, you must be a fan. Curious as to why you’re so defensive though.”

She folded her arms over her chest as she shook her head slightly. “I’m not defensive. You’re invading my privacy.”

“You don’t want me to know which movies you watch?”

She stuttered a bit. “Well, you called them chick flicks. You’ve never even seen them but have decided they’re just dumb movies for girls.”

There was a look of hurt in her eyes. Of course, he was just teasing her. He’d never judge her for her interests. “I didn’t say they’re dumb movies for girls!”

She shrugged. “You might as well have.”

He just grabbed one of the movies and looked over the cover. “Ok, why don’t we watch...Cruel Intentions.”

Her eyes lit up. “Ok!” 

He placed the disc in the player and she got the tv setup. About an hour or so into the film, he was fascinated. The movie was completely fucked up with teen revenge romance plots, but it was nonetheless fascinating. 

She tapped his arm. “Watch this! I love this part!” He knew the movie was coming to an end because of the time and they were in the third act. Just at that moment, her phone rang. 

“I gotta take this. It’s my brother and my niece.”

She held the phone out from her. “Hey guys!” 

He glanced at her in curiosity for a moment as she continued her conversation. The wide smile on her face and the fact that her register was suddenly higher did not escape his notice. As she got into the conversation with her brother and niece, who called her Reese (which he filed away), he returned his attention to the movie just in time to see one of the characters get run over. 

“Holy shit! Is he dead?”

Clearly, he startled her a bit, as she turned to face him. “Yeah, I know. Isn’t it fucked up?”

That was one way to describe this movie. It was a fair amount of drama. He had never really spent much time thinking about what movies Teresa Lisbon might watch in her down time, but this type of drama that allowed her to follow from afar without being overly invested seemed about right.

“Hey Reese, who’s that?”

“Uh…”

“Is that your boyfriend? I figured you were seeing someone! My big sister was always a hot item! Not the kind of girl to stay single for long.”

“Tommy! First off, I’m a woman and not an item. Second, ew! You paid this much attention to who I date?”

“Well, someone had to in case a guy ever needed a baseball bat to the knees. So let’s meet him! He’s obviously sitting right next to you.”

Lisbon looked like she was ready to jump out of her skin, pass out, or both. “I...Tommy, he’s…”

Without thinking, he leaned over and placed his arm around her shoulder. Once he was in the camera’s field of view, he spoke. “Hi there, I’m Patrick Jane. You can call me Paddy.”

After he gave his name, he realized that might be a dead give away if she’d ever mentioned working with him. Though, he hadn’t really put much thought into what he was doing.

“Hey Paddy. I’m Teresa’s brother, Tommy. This is Annie. It’s good to meet you.”

“Likewise!”

“How long have you been seeing my sister?”

“Oh, just a few months now!”

“Well, she’s not mentioned you yet.”

He looked at Lisbon, who had plastered a false smile to her face. “I hope that’s not a bad thing, is it, darling?”

She chuckled lightly. “I don’t think so. Tommy and I don’t talk that much, and you’ve never been sitting right beside me when we talk!”

“Hmm. Well, if I’m out that way, we should get beers, Paddy!”

“I’d love to!”

“In the meantime, I expect you’ll treat my sister right.”

“Oh yeah, I know! Wouldn’t want a baseball bat to the knees...or a gun in the face. She has many, many guns.” For that little barb, he caught an elbow to his chest.

“That she does! Well, Reese, we’re going to hop off of here. It’s good seeing you. I’m glad you got someone to look out for you.”

“Tommy, you know I can look out for myself. In fact, I think I looked out for myself and my three little brothers quite well!”

“Sure, but that was different. It’s just nice to know you’re not alone out there in California anymore! You wouldn’t have taken a call sitting next to a guy you didn’t feel comfortable bringing around the family. You only do that when it’s serious, but I’ll leave that there. Wouldn’t want to scare Paddy off.” He laughed. “Love you, sis.”

“Love you, Tommy. Love you, Annie. Bye!”

With a large exhale, she ended the call. He removed his arm from her shoulder and scooted over to put a respectable amount of space between them on her sofa.

As was common for them, they didn’t really speak about what just happened. As the credits rolled, he just looked at her. “So I noticed you have the Keaton Batman films. Marathon?”

She nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

She was still a bit despondent after the phone call, so he decided to make things interesting. “I’ll bet you $50 that I can guess who your favorite Batman character is.”

“Please! How do you even know I like Batman? Maybe an old boyfriend just left the movies here!”

“Now, you’re insulting both of us.”

“There’s no way you can guess who my favorite character is.”

He shrugged with an air of arrogance. “I could read that as a challenge, but how about if you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”

“Jane, your favorite is Batman.”

“Ok, didn’t you just tell me I couldn’t guess…”

“You’re a former conman.”

“Ouch!” He placed his right hand over his heart, feigning hurt.

“He’s like James Bond, only cooler. And I have three brothers.” She paused a bit before grinning widely. “They always fought over who would be Batman and who would be Superman. The third unfortunate soul had to be Aquaman.”

“Of course, you were always Wonder Woman in the Lisbon Family Justice League.”

“Of course!”

He smiled at that. For some reason, an image of a dark haired little girl spinning until her head went light and she fell over giggling popped into his mind. “Harvey Dent.”

She stiffened. “How did you know?”

“I knew the big ones like Poison Ivy, Catwoman, and Harley Quinn were all too stereotypical and too easy. And there’s no way you like the Joker or Penguin. Maybe Commissioner Gordon...but Harvey makes the most sense with your firm ideas on justice.” He leaned in a bit. “Plus, I know your other little secret that you don’t want me to know about. Doesn’t hurt that the same guy who played Lando Calirissian also played Harvey Dent in the Keton movies, does it?”

She exhaled sharply before changing the DVD out as he laughed lightly at having gotten a bit of a rise out of her. Star Wars, like Batman, were movies tied to her brothers. Of course, she would be more protective of her connections to them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Though, his spur of the moment con to help Lisbon out of a tight spot with her brother came to a head only a few weeks later when Tommy showed up chasing a bail skipper. Lisbon was pissed that she didn’t even know her brother was doing this kind of work, let alone in California.

When Tommy made the connection between the Paddy he spoke to on the phone and Jane, who was Lisbon’s consultant, he simply waved his hand at him and told him “We’ll talk later.” Tommy nodded, seemingly understanding that their relationship was an office secret.

Once their suspect was apprehended, Jane laid on Lisbon’s couch as she worked on her paperwork. The paperwork of the CBI was certainly something he never had any interest in doing. 

“Oh. Tommy’s calling.”

She picked up her phone. “Hey!”

“Sis! I just got my bounty. Why don’t the four of us grab dinner tonight?”

She scrunched her nose up in confusion. “The four of us?”

“Yeah--you, me, Annie, and Paddy. I barely got to know the guy. Annie seems to think he’s pretty cool.”

She glared at him. Teaching a teenager to pick pockets will certainly make an impression on them. 

“I’ll have to check with Paddy and see…” Within seconds, he was off the couch and standing beside her chair, hunched over so that he was in view of the camera.

“Yeah, let’s do it! Dinner and Magianos at 8. And Tommy, keep your bounty. It’s on me!”

“My man! Even better! See you then!” He ended the call.

She looked at him. “What just happened?”

He shrugged. “We’re going to dinner with your brother and niece.”

“But why are we going to dinner with them?”

“Because they want to get to know me better.”

“We don’t have to keep up the ruse.”

“It’s fine! It’s just dinner. Not like we’re going to a chappel afterward!” He chuckled a bit. “All right. I think this means your paperwork is done for the night. You should go home and get ready so I can pick you up like a proper boyfriend would do.”

“I have a lot of paperwork to do!”

“And you will get it done! Live a little!”

She groaned. “Why am I going along with this?”

“Because you don’t want your brother to think you’re lonely?”

She nodded. “Fair. So 7:30?”

“Yep!”

When he arrived at her house to pick her up at 7:30, he almost choked when he saw her. She was wearing a short black dress--though not too short--that set just off of her shoulders with a pair of heels. Of course, he’d seen her dressed up for CBI events before, and women’s looks rarely impressed him anymore, but she was gorgeous. He just filed that away.

After leaving his car at the valet, he took her hand in his and walked to meet Tommy and Annie seated at the table he reserved.

“Hey sis! Paddy!”

When she went to pull her own chair out, he swooped in and did that for her. She furrowed her eyebrows as he chuckled a bit. “We wouldn’t want Tommy and Annie to get the wrong idea about me. I wouldn’t bring my beautiful girlfriend to such a nice restaurant and not treat her right. I’m a gentleman, after all!”

She smiled brightly. “Of course, honey. I don’t think they thought anything else.”

They spent their evening talking. Getting to know Tommy and Annie more provided more information about who Lisbon was. Of course, Tommy wanted to know about him. 

“So what are your intentions with my sister?”

She choked on a sip of her water, as he rubbed her back a bit. “My intention is to annoy her and embarrass her as little as possible. She hates when I cause extraneous paperwork.”

Tommy laughed. “Well, it’s obvious you have a special working relationship. I meant where’s this headed. Do you see a future for you and my sister?”

“Tommy, I don’t think that’s a fair question to ask any man as though I’m not sitting right here, let alone a man I’ve only been seeing for a few months.”

He threw his hands up in surrender. “Ok, fine. I don’t want to start a fight here. I just want to make sure everything is good and that he understands you have brothers who are only a flight away.”

She grabbed his hand. “Everything is good! And I’m perfectly fine with just seeing where this goes. If things get serious, you’ll be the first to know.”

There was a brief moment of silence when they got in his car. 

“Jane…thank you.”

“Sure.”

And that was all they needed to say about that. Not that she would ever admit it outloud, but she struggled with her family: to still provide care for them in the ways that she could and to gain their approval. It was natural for her brother to want to get to know the man he believed was spending time and developing a romantic relationship with his sister.

After all, they were both a part of the Justice League. Batman would always fight alongside Wonder Woman.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

If you’d asked him even a year ago if he thought he’d ever remarry, the answer would have been a firm no. But then, he finally came to terms with why he wrote to Lisbon near every day when he was on that island: he loved her. When she almost left with Pike, that nearly destroyed him. Thankfully, she gave him a chance.

Because their lives couldn’t be dull for a single moment, their wedding day was an interesting turn of events. Most importantly, they did get married surrounded by family and friends--including the entire Lisbon family. 

Though he’d now met all three of her brothers, they still took him off to the side--and turned up the tough guy act. Admittedly, all three seemed scarier than just one. After some rather thinly veiled threats, they shared a round of beers together.

Tommy slapped his shoulder. “Paddy, I’m really glad you and Reese tied the knot!”

“Me too!”

“I know since the day she introduced me you two would be married.”

He felt a slight twinge of guilt. “You know, when you met me, we weren’t actually together yet.”

Tommy laughed, making Stan and Jimmy follow suit. “Okay, if you say so.”

“No, we weren’t. We’ve only been together for about a year now.”

Tommy nodded his head as though he were gathering his thoughts. “Here’s what I know: you were at my sister’s house watching a movie with her on a Saturday afternoon. When I come to town, you took us all to dinner, which was one of the nicest dinners I’ve ever been to. For two years when you were on the lam, she was absolutely miserable. Now, maybe you weren’t actually together, but you were together.”

“Sure. We were friends. You know, she was actually helping me…”

“I know, Paddy. She told me everything. Doesn’t mean I didn’t know from the moment she introduced you on the phone that things would end up here. You’re too good for each other.”

Jane took a moment to consider his words before smiling. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. I am really glad we ended up here too.”

Maybe he was part of the Lisbon family Justice League now, too...so long as he got to be Batman.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Tommy wasn't at the wedding in canon, but shhhhhh!
> 
> If you love DC Comics as much as I do, please enjoy the release of the Snyder Cut of the Justice League this Thursday!


End file.
